The first 90 days of recovery are critical! This is the period in which the majority of individuals will relapse. You are not yet comfortable in dealing with life without the means of substances.
Without structure, routine and consistency, you’re likely to find your recovery far more difficult to manage, and it may even collapse.
Start off slowly, so that you don’t become overwhelmed by all that you want or believe you need to do! I can’t stress enough, recovery is not a race, but a lifelong journey. It’s progress, not perfection.
14 Steps for a Successful First 90 Days
1. Create (and keep to) a daily schedule.
Making a daily schedule is much more than busywork. In recovery, it’s essential to have a clear list of what to do and when to help keep you on track. This includes the times you wake up, eat, exercise, work, attend 12-step meetings, go to doctor or therapy appointments, take medication, spend time with family and friends and sleep.
- Meditation and/or prayer, reading and hobbies are important too.
- If you are able to stick to a schedule, then you will be less likely to have idle time and thus let thoughts & emotions wander back in.
2. Make meetings a priority.
If you went to rehab, you likely learned the value of attending 12-step group meetings, such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA); they may have even become a necessity for you in recovery. AA has a semi-official rule, called the “90 in 90 rule,” which strongly encouraging members to attend 90 meetings in 90 days. This can be one meeting every day for the full 3 months, or it can take the form of two to three meetings a day (morning, afternoon and evening, for example).
- Especially, during rough times or when you feel a potential crisis/relapse coming on, it may be a good idea to double down on meetings.
3. Find a sponsor, trusted mentor or therapist.
Finding a sponsor is not just a priority, it’s a requirement of Destiny House. This person will share their experience, strength, and hope with you, in addition to guiding you through the steps of recovery. We cannot stress this enough!
4. Continue seeing your doctor or therapist.
Many in early recovery find that it essential to maintain a regular connection with their physician and/or your counselor/therapist. Similarly, if you’re tempted to stop taking prescribed medications to ease cravings, withdrawal and/or a mental health issue, don’t; instead, pick up the phone and call your doctor before stopping any treatment regimen.
5. Create a safe environment for yourself.
The healing process requires that you feel secure at home!
- This means that you need to clear out anything that’s related to using — for example, bottles of booze, pills, illicit drugs, pornography or other addictive substances or objects — that are around you or accessible to you. Without delay, get rid of each and every one of them.
- If you don’t trust yourself to do this, ask your sponsor or someone you trust to clean out your stash, to make your environment is free of any temptation to use.
- Sober living is an exceptionally great tool, as it creates a safe environment for the healing process.
6. Ask for help from your loved ones.
Support and encouragement from friends, family, and partners can be extremely helpful in early sobriety. Having a strong support network, often can make huge impacts on a persons success. If you need space or time, ask for it. Help your loved ones give you what you need, in order to grow.
Especially in early recovery, when staying sober is your primary focus, your partner/spouse may feel neglected or unimportant. Explain that you will need to be self involved for a little bit longer, and that this is necessary in order for you to get well. Consider attending couples therapy so you can start working on rebuilding your relationship as you learn to live sober.
7. Make a list of goals.
Every recovery journey is conducted in the here and now, but it also includes a focus on the future. To do that, you need to craft a list of goals, things that you would like to achieve in the next one, five, 10 or 20 years. When you first start creating your goal list, it may be somewhat vague. Don’t worry; you’ll fill in the blanks as you progress toward them. That’s why it’s important to put down short- and long-term goals. While you’re working on achieving the short-term ones, such as meeting your 30- and 60-day sobriety milestones, you’ll come up with ideas and steps that get you closer to your long-term goals.
For now, just list goals as they come to you. If you think of interim steps or requirements to achieving those goals, mark them down as well. This may include a long-term goal of finishing or getting a degree, and short-term goals of applying to a college or university, securing financing, choosing courses and attending classes.
8. Learn your triggers and practice healthy coping skills.
It goes without saying that you need to avoid triggers that can push you toward relapse; these can be especially hard to manage as you start your recovery, when you haven’t yet developed a set of tools to help you fend off the cravings to use.
Simply put, you’ll need to start by finding ways to steer clear of the people, places and things you most associate with using, including:
- A former drug-using acquaintance
- An old haunt where you used to drink, score drugs, gamble or hook up with casual sexual partners
Since you can’t realistically get rid of all known triggers — which can include things like the sound of ice cubes in a glass on TV, or an ad promoting a nearby casino — keep a log, if that helps, so you know what to do when you experience a trigger.
The good news is that most cravings and urges last only about 20 minutes. If you can get through them by using your coping mechanisms (distraction, counting, cleaning, crossword puzzles, calling your 12-step sponsor, etc.), you’ll not only have effectively overcome the craving, you’ll also have the beginning of a manual of various ways to help yourself stay sober.
9. Don’t rush back to work.
If possible, give yourself a week or two before you go back to your job. Use the time off to re-acclimate to home life and figure out exactly how recovery will fit into it. You will want to learn the times and locations of daily 12 step meetings, this way you can potentially make a meeting during lunch or before/after you get off of work.
10. Avoid major life changes.
Keeping your life simple means adhering to the 12-step rule of no major life changes during your first year of recovery.
- Major life changes include everything from getting married or divorced, changing residences (unless you need to in order to remove yourself from partners or friends that continue to use), quitting or changing jobs (unless absolutely necessary), deciding to have children and so on.
- There will be ample time to make these major decisions, when you’ve become in recovery and stable.
- A common rule of thumb and best practice of those in recovery is NO major changes/decisions within the first 12 months of sobriety.
11. Celebrate milestones.
Baby steps are very important in this beginning stage of recovery. The 30-, 60- and 90-day sobriety chips that you will receive in meetings (if you attend them) are more than just pieces of plastic; these symbolize your ongoing commitment to recovery and are an achievement to be proud of.
- Take the time to celebrate (in a sober way) these important reminders of the new life you’ve chosen.
- Be grateful for each milestone and take the time to appreciate how far you have come!
12. Give thanks for each day.
It’s very easy to get caught up in day to day routines – regardless if it’s in the first 90 days or years later. Express your feelings of gratefulness towards a higher power of your understanding, for all of your successes, failures, accomplishments. Thank God for the good and the bad, as without the bad we would not be where we are today, and so it can be a blessing. accomplishments.
- This is one aspect of your newly structured life — prayer, meditation or you may wish to call it something else — that pays dividends far beyond the mere utterance or thinking of the words.
- Even the most stressful or frustrating day deserves acknowledgement. You’ve made it through the day and have succeeded in facing many diverse challenges and opportunities.
